Selfishness

Do you feel happy, yet insecure?
The two make life hard when combined.
Are you content or just unsure?
What more in this life is left to find?

I've loved and lost.
I've hated and forgiven.
I've learned what sin cost.
There's not much in life worth reliving.

I know there's more to life than this.
I just haven't found my reason.
When I'm given a clue I try to resist.
Its my hope for seeing another season.

Do I continue to rescue those in emotional distress?
Are my words even enough?
I keep putting myself to the test.
Only to find my soul's not that tough.

I can't keep going when I'm the wreck.
I should take my own advice.
My emotions need to be put in check.
My body is paying the price.

The bottle in my hand keeps me warm at night.
I know its burning me inside.
It blurs my sight,
but it clears my mind.

At twenty five, my worries are too plenty.
I should feel free.
Those that pretended to care condemn me.
My downfall is all they see.

I take all my energy to make those around me feel safe.
I get nothing in return.
I don't expect to be repaid.
What would a little compassion hurt?

I'll continue to do my part.
Just remember there are others in pain.
It really hurts my heart,
To know that my hospitality is taken in vain.